What is agape?

Ah, love. It’s the stuff of rom-coms, ballads, and those cheesy Valentine’s Day cards. But let’s get real: love is far more intricate than Hollywood or Hallmark would have us believe. Enter agape, a deeply Christian understanding of love.

The term agape appears numerous times in the New Testament, serving as a cornerstone for Christian ethics and theology. It’s a Greek word that transcends the limitations of other types of love, like eros (romantic love) or philia (friendship). In the Bible, agape is often used to describe God’s love for humanity. It’s a love that’s not about feeling good or being attracted to someone; it’s about a commitment to the well-being of others.

So, what makes agape different from the love we see in rom-coms or read about in novels? It’s a love that’s selfless, divine, everyday, and even a bit absurd. It’s the kind of love that challenges us to be better humans, to look beyond our own needs and desires, and to engage in acts of kindness that may seem small but have a big impact. It’s a love that has been described, prescribed, and exemplified in the pages of the Bible, offering us a blueprint for how to love in a world that often seems unlovable.

Agape is Selfless Love

In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul writes, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This passage captures the essence of agape as selfless love. It’s not about what you can get out of the relationship; it’s about valuing others and looking out for their interests, even when it’s inconvenient or challenging.

This selfless love is a reflection of divine love. God’s love for us is the epitome of agape—unconditional, selfless, and enduring. It’s a love that values us so highly that it led to the ultimate sacrifice. And in turn, we’re called to love others in a similar manner, putting their needs and interests above our own.

In a world that often tells us to prioritize our own needs and desires, the message of Philippians 2:3-4 stands as a counter-cultural call to action. Agape challenges us to go against the grain, to value others above ourselves, and to act in their best interests. It’s not just a lofty ideal; it’s a practical, everyday love that transforms relationships and communities.

Agape is Divine Love

When it comes to understanding agape as divine love, the Gospel of John serves as a profound starting point. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends,” says Jesus in John 15:13. This isn’t just a poetic sentiment; it’s a radical redefinition of what love can be. Jesus is talking about a love so intense, so selfless, that it’s willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. This is agape at its most divine—a love that doesn’t just care, but is willing to lay it all on the line.

This divine love isn’t confined to the pages of scripture; it’s the cornerstone of Christian theology. The crucifixion serves as the ultimate manifestation of agape love. God, incarnated as Jesus, willingly laid down His life for humanity. This isn’t transactional love; it’s transformational love. It’s a love that doesn’t ask, “What’s in it for me?” but declares, “I am for you.”

But the story of agape as divine love doesn’t end at the crucifixion. It’s a love that’s meant to be lived out in our daily lives, a point emphasized in 1 John 4:19-21: “We love because He first loved us.” Agape isn’t just about our vertical relationship with the divine; it’s also about our horizontal relationships with each other. It’s a love that’s meant to ripple out, affecting not just our personal spirituality but our communal well-being.

Agape is Everyday Love

The Apostle Paul gives us a down-to-earth perspective on agape in Romans 12:9-10, stating, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” This isn’t just a Sunday sermon; it’s a Monday-through-Sunday lifestyle. Paul is talking about a love that’s genuine, a love that shows up in the everyday moments, not just the milestone events. It’s the kind of love that makes you pause and think about how your actions affect others, whether you’re in the grocery store, at work, or at home.

This everyday agape isn’t about grand gestures or dramatic declarations. It’s found in the simple acts that often go unnoticed. It’s the parent who gets up in the middle of the night to soothe a crying child, the friend who sends a text just to check in, or even the stranger who lets you go ahead of them in a traffic jam. These acts might not make headlines, but they make a difference. They’re small but powerful expressions of a love that values others and seeks their well-being.

But why should we bother with these small acts of kindness? Because agape love isn’t just a lofty spiritual concept; it’s a practical, tangible force that has the power to transform our daily lives. When Paul talks about being “devoted to one another in love,” he’s urging us to make agape an integral part of our everyday interactions. It’s a call to elevate the mundane moments, to find the sacred in the ordinary.

Agape is Absurd Love

When Jesus says in John 13:34, “A new command I give you: Love one another,” He’s not just adding another item to our spiritual to-do list. He’s introducing a form of love that, on the surface, seems almost absurd. Love everyone? In a world where we can barely agree on what toppings to put on a pizza, the idea of universal, unconditional love sounds downright impractical. Yet, that’s the beauty and the paradox of agape—it’s a love so unconditional that it borders on the irrational.

This absurdity isn’t a flaw; it’s a feature. Agape love challenges our conventional wisdom and societal norms. It’s the kind of love that prompts the Good Samaritan to help a wounded enemy by the side of the road, or inspires someone to forgive when holding a grudge would be so much easier. It’s love that defies logic and yet, in defying logic, becomes the most logical response to human suffering and need.

But why embrace such an absurd form of love? Because this is the love that transforms. It’s the love that breaks down barriers, heals divisions, and creates a sense of community where there was once only conflict. It’s the love that says, “I choose to care, even when it’s hard, even when it doesn’t make sense.” And in making that choice, we don’t just change the dynamics of a relationship; we change the dynamics of our inner lives. We become conduits of grace, agents of change, and yes, practitioners of an absurdly powerful love.

In a nutshell, agape as absurd love is not a contradiction; it’s a revelation. It’s the realization that the most illogical love is the one that makes the most sense when we see the transformative impact it has on us and the world around us.

The Takeaway

So, what is agape? It’s a love that wears many hats but never loses its essence. As divine love, it’s the self-sacrificing, all-encompassing love that God has for humanity—a love so profound that it led to the ultimate sacrifice. As everyday love, it’s the small acts of kindness and consideration that may not make the news but make all the difference in our daily interactions. And as absurd love, it’s the illogical yet transformative force that challenges us to extend compassion even when it seems counterintuitive.

Agape is not just a word or a theological concept; it’s a lived experience. It’s the love that Paul describes in his letters, that Jesus exemplified in His life, and that we’re called to practice in our own lives. Whether it’s divine, everyday, or absurd, agape challenges us to go beyond our comfort zones, to love in ways that transform not just our relationships but also our inner selves.

In a world that often feels fragmented, where relationships can be as disposable as last season’s fashion trends, agape stands as a testament to the enduring, transformative power of love. It’s the love that asks for nothing and gives everything, that values others above ourselves, and that dares us to be more compassionate, more selfless, and yes, more absurdly loving.

So the next time you find yourself questioning the nature of love, or perhaps even doubting its existence in our complex world, remember agape. It’s the kind of love that has stood the test of time, from ancient scriptures to modern dilemmas, reminding us that true love isn’t just something we feel—it’s something we do.